How to Support Your Child Through Their Fears and Anxieties

Before diving into solutions, it’s important to understand why children experience fear or anxiety. These emotions are part of their development and often stem from:

• The Unknown: New environments, situations, or people can feel overwhelming.
• Perfectionism: A fear of failure or making mistakes can create anxiety around tasks.
• Imagination: Young children may have vivid imaginations that turn minor worries into big fears (like monsters under the bed).
• Social Pressures: As children grow, peer relationships and academic performance can contribute to stress.

Step 1: Validate Their Fears

The first and most important step is understanding that your child’s fears aren’t “silly” or “irrational.” For them, these fears feel as real as any adult worry. Instead of dismissing their feelings, acknowledge them.

For example:

• Instead of saying, “Oh, there’s nothing to be scared of,” try, “I understand why that feels scary to you. Want to tell me more about it?”

This simple validation makes them feel heard and reassures them that it’s okay to have fears. It opens the door to meaningful conversations about their feelings.

Step 2: Teach Them to Label Their Emotions

Sometimes, children don’t even know how to articulate what they’re feeling. Helping them name their emotions is a powerful way to give them control over their fears.

You could say:

• “It sounds like you’re feeling nervous about your test tomorrow. Is that right?”
• “Do you think you’re feeling scared because you don’t know what to expect?”

Giving their emotions a name helps them process what they’re experiencing. It’s the first step toward managing those feelings effectively.

Step 3: Guide Them to Problem-Solve

Fears can feel overwhelming because they seem like giant, unsolvable problems. Help your child break their fears into small, manageable steps.

For example:

• If they’re afraid of speaking in front of the class, start small. Practice at home in front of family, then in front of a mirror, and eventually, in a comfortable group.
• If they’re worried about making friends, brainstorm conversation starters or role-play social interactions.

This teaches them that even big fears can be tackled one step at a time.

Step 4: Model Calmness and Resilience

Children often absorb the way we handle stress and fear. If you show calmness and resilience in the face of challenges, they’re more likely to do the same. Share your own experiences of overcoming fears to make them feel less alone.

For example:

• “I used to feel really scared of interviews too, but I found that preparing ahead of time made me feel more confident.”

Your calm demeanor can be a source of strength and reassurance for them.

Step 5: Equip Them with Coping Techniques

Sometimes, children need immediate strategies to regulate their emotions. Teach them simple techniques they can use when they’re feeling overwhelmed:

• Deep breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds.
• Visualisation: Encourage them to imagine a happy or calming place, like a beach or a favorite park.
• Mindfulness: Have them focus on their senses—what they can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste—in the present moment.

These techniques teach them to manage their stress and regain a sense of control.